Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
You know what really pops my Jenkems balloon?
Everybody got they Jenkems but they ain't chipped in....now this type of shit happens all the time... you gotta get yours but fool I gotta gets mine
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Drink it up, it always goes down smooth
As science dictates, it is allowable and healthy to mung well into the third trimester. It is also safe, in moderation, to take part in Jenkems..... I guess this is why the average life expectancy for Sierra Leone is 25.9.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
A word to my "handicapped" friend from down the block...
A couple months back I published a post detailing the anger and frustration I had experienced when I recieved a handicapped parking ticket. No, the ticket itself wasn't handicapped but rather I was being reprimanded for illegally parking in a handicapped spot. (just laugh, it's good for you)
Well, a couple weeks ago I visited the glorious Arlington County Courthouse and after two seperate visits, five trips through a metal detector that would go off even if I was naked as the day as I was born, 7 dollars in parking meter quarters and a total of 3.5 hours of sitting in a waiting room without even my cell phone to entertain me (they dont allow them inside, and brick breaker is my favorite pastime ever) I was given the chance to plea my case in front of the judge.
After giving what I considered a mediocre attempt at pleading forgiveness of the county for an honest mistake that I plead guilty to with an explanation; justice was served. After speaking to the police officer, who was probably more upset he had to be there than me that day, and hearing that the only reason I had recieved the ticket was because a private citizen (my dear old hag friend) had called in a complaint, the judge took pity on me and reduced my 500 dollar fine by about 70 percent. Needless to say it was worth the trip.
Now without revisiting all the remarks I made about why this old hag has wronged me and probably isnt even handicapped in the first place I will only say this....what goes around comes around and although you probably only have a short meaningless existence left on this earth maybe you should think twice about calling the cops on someone who could have made an honest mistake and has caused you no inconvenience at all and next time just leave them a threatening note so they know not to park in your spot again. A little leniency can go a long way...and a little hate can bring a wave of bad karma....and by bad karma I mean I wouldn't be sitting on your porch late at night unless you like to catch flying objects in your toothless mouth and I wouldn't go down a hill in your wheelchair unless you have checked to make sure no one has tampered with your brakes....Folks, I am just kidding...or am I? No, I am....maybe I'm not!!
Well, a couple weeks ago I visited the glorious Arlington County Courthouse and after two seperate visits, five trips through a metal detector that would go off even if I was naked as the day as I was born, 7 dollars in parking meter quarters and a total of 3.5 hours of sitting in a waiting room without even my cell phone to entertain me (they dont allow them inside, and brick breaker is my favorite pastime ever) I was given the chance to plea my case in front of the judge.
After giving what I considered a mediocre attempt at pleading forgiveness of the county for an honest mistake that I plead guilty to with an explanation; justice was served. After speaking to the police officer, who was probably more upset he had to be there than me that day, and hearing that the only reason I had recieved the ticket was because a private citizen (my dear old hag friend) had called in a complaint, the judge took pity on me and reduced my 500 dollar fine by about 70 percent. Needless to say it was worth the trip.
Now without revisiting all the remarks I made about why this old hag has wronged me and probably isnt even handicapped in the first place I will only say this....what goes around comes around and although you probably only have a short meaningless existence left on this earth maybe you should think twice about calling the cops on someone who could have made an honest mistake and has caused you no inconvenience at all and next time just leave them a threatening note so they know not to park in your spot again. A little leniency can go a long way...and a little hate can bring a wave of bad karma....and by bad karma I mean I wouldn't be sitting on your porch late at night unless you like to catch flying objects in your toothless mouth and I wouldn't go down a hill in your wheelchair unless you have checked to make sure no one has tampered with your brakes....Folks, I am just kidding...or am I? No, I am....maybe I'm not!!
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